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my negativity is contagious
Saturday 9 January 2016 @ 04:11 | 0 Comment [s]
Do you know how it feels like to be missing parts of things that is needed to complete? The times when you get frustrated and upset at yourself for being such a useless clutz, and yes a moron. You know how when you make your bed and there are still areas that are not stretched to the requirement of a 5 star hotel, like the Hilton perhaps? So, you get on the bed in hopes of trying to make things better but you end up ruining the other parts of the bed that was already stretched perfectly. You see how some things you thought can make things better had just made it a whole worse? At that exact moment too... you would contemplate on yourself of how ruined your life is and how your great work has been destroyed. After a few seconds, you will eventually realise you're making such a huge fuss over a damn bed.
Or maybe the times when you were doing chores, wiping dry the plates.. And the towel you were using weren't much of a good water absorber. So it kinda left a wet layer of water still on the plate and you would get annoyed at it as well (or it might be just me). Since you're such a lazy human being you would just think " what the heck, this doesn't cause any harm" and you would just stash the plates as you would normally do anyway.
You see that's the problem that I face, which I am ashamed of. I lose my temper over silly things and ending up with a horrible mood for the ENTIRE day. It's like having PMS, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You know what I mean? Sometimes I feel like I finally got my life together, and .................well that lasted for a good 20 seconds. Then I am back to me. The one who stresses on useless things that doesn't even deserve enough credits to be on my "Things I Should Care About" list.
I blame myself a lot for a whole lot of mistakes I've done, and well it kills every time. Feeling pathetic over my life, my future, my physique and especially my doings. I gotta learn how to chill and take it easy on a lot of things I handle at life. I guess I have such a negative thinking that I never realised of. I mean if it gets serious, it can practically harm me physically. If I let it take over my consciousness, I'll probably lose myself to something I don't know of.
So, as you can see I'm such a negative, sarcastic person who you would probably don't wanna become friends with. Well, that's okay. I get it. I probably should take some time to re-think about my decisions because I certainly cannot UNDO my actions. There you go, I just wrote a post about how messed up I am. Good luck making a choice of whether you'd like to stay and be my friend (not that I have many though..) or leave. I'm fine with vice versa.
P/s: my inspiration of this post was me failing at putting a sheet on my pillow and well yeah.
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Merci!